Orange you glad it’s 1977?

When asked the question “If you could live in any other time period, which would it be?” the edgy progressive™ in me tends to take over and respond that there’s no time like now, with all of the breakthroughs we’ve made and hope to make in the future. However, the more whimsical, classic music and fashion lover in me would love to live in the mid/late 70s. You’d experience the beginning of punk, the debut of the first-ever Star Wars movie and of course free-flowing burnt orange imitation silk everywhere you went.

Now, I know that I’m not original by any stretch of the imagination in trying to revive the 70s in 2017. All the bell sleeves, button-up denim skirts and velvet pumps have already thrived and died in the past few seasons. But there’s something to be said about the look. It’s sleek, it’s sexy, it says “How nice of you to stop in?” as I saunter to open the door to my wood-upholstered mid-century home on the coastline, martini in hand.

But back to the now. When I saw this blouse for the first time it was the ugliest fabric I’d ever seen. I had to have it. Thus a beautiful relationship was born between me and my $14 flowy orange monster from the Forever 21 clearance rack. The cut is super flattering for a fuller bust but, but the way that the two overlapping sides of the top are sewn together allows for a lot of shifting. Beware of boobs searching for their time in the limelight (unless that’s your #look, then by all means own it). It’s light to wear and wonderfully obnoxious.

The denim skirt is from ASOS and is the first A-line I’ve ever liked. Usually they make me feel like a tent but I think the rigidness of the denim in this case gives it the kind of close fit that makes me comfortable and gives the shape that I want. The brown boots are Jessica Simpson from Macy’s. The back is a stretch fabric, which is essential if you have huge calves like yours truly, and the two fabrics give them a dimension that I’m really into. Mini skirt and knee high boot combos are a go-to classic, easy look that people will think is super creative but have nothing to them, well, nothing but hours spent scouring posts on Pinterest and Tumblr tagged “groovy.”

 

This is the exact denim skirt (US 14) from ASOS. It’s currently on sale for $21.50. Pro-tip: Always wait for ASOS sales and size down! At least one size. I sized down and I still have some wiggle room. My orange blouse (L) was final sale and probably unavailable now, but this similar one is an absolute stunner, albeit expensive, and F21 has others with similar vibes and prices. The exact boots are no longer available, these $100 ones are the most similar to the ones I’m wearing, but these ones are cute n’ close too. I risk sounding like a soccer mom by saying this, but both pairs are from Kohl’s. Get. That. Kohl’s. Cash. You can get that price way down. Also, I have to plug the lipstick I’m wearing. It’s Rimmel’s 16-hr Provocalips in the shade “Make Your Move.” Lighter shades like this last through basically everything and will last the 16 hours. Like, you can barely get it off. It’s great.

Bear of the Ball

This outfit says “19th century Russian countess who just stocked up at Vivienne Westwood’s original 1977 ‘Sex’ shop,” no?  An unseasonably stylish extra in The Revenant maybe? Whatever vibe you choose to pull from this look, it sure makes me feel fierce, like the belle bear of the ball, and seasonally appropriate to boot! (Which is an accomplishment for me. I’ve always favored wearing a fashion-forward look I’ve been thinking about for weeks on end rather than something, how you say, “comfortable”, much to my mom’s dismay even to this day.)

 

Once a man yelled out to me “Those are some nice pants, lady!” when I was walking around NYC in these leggings. Obviously, he was talking about how and they are super versatile, working both as a neutral and as a texture to give any look some subtle edge. Or, possibly the way they are super form-fitting. Hm. Probably the first one! Honestly, these are an XL and if I could get them again I’d probably size up, but they do just what I want to do, give that last smoldering wink to any outfit.

They’re actually from Hot Topic, which I know, I know, why don’t they have some random pop punk/ Harley Quinn logo on them then? But actually, Hot Topic is not a bad place to shop. Normally they are super pricey but they do give out mad coupons and their bottoms (Lovesick jeggings and shorts especially) come in a wide range of sizes and can blend in with the rest of your wardrobe. I’m a fan. I’ve paired the leggings with a ribbed turtleneck from H&M that I got for $10.

Now let me get to this coat. Wow. I received this as a Christmas gift last year and was told that it came from a thrift shop in the Pittsburgh area, so we’ll have to assume that it’s true. However, whenever I slip it on it feels more like it was crafted by winter wood-nymphs looking to make me feel at home in the cold weather. There’s so much faux fur: inside of the pockets, around and inside of the hood, you name it, save for the silk interior. That aside, this coat definitely does keep you warm (I’d know, I was shooting this in 20°). The oversized hood and the cinched waist are two of my favorite features and they complement each other so well.

I also love how the black leather bootie (the holy grail of multipurpose shoes, but I’ll get into that some other time) blends seamlessly in with the leggings creating this illusion of some sort of daytime dominatrix uni-suit. This is warmed up a bit by the sweater and the swath of fur topping it all of, creating what I think is a really well balanced outfit: heavy-top, light bottom but an imagined air of luxury (and fun!) throughout.

 

I received the brown fur coat (XL) as a gift, so I can’t tell you where it’s from or how much it cost, but here are straight and plus-sized options if you’re looking for something similar. The almost identical twin of my black ribbed sweater (L) can be found here. Tip: H&M is usually very generous with their sizing so I encourage you to try everything there, even if you’re on the fence. Here are the black leather-look leggings (XL). They go up to a 3X and I suggest sizing up. The booties (US 10) are from Forever 21 (like this similar pair), but you can find the perfect black bootie just about anywhere.

I>U (And disco too)

You may not know this, but I’m an absolute self-esteem machine. When you’re ruled by Venus and every shitty horoscope writer tells you that as a Taurus your greatest negative trait is being vain, you have two choices. One is to scoff, exclaim “As if!” and make extra, subtle efforts to prove how not self absorbed you are to your other astro-friends. The second is to take that thousandth selfie, bump some tunes, make yourself a drink and spend well over an hour doing your makeup and getting your outfit together.

As you can probably guess, I’ve opted for the latter.

 

 

So, of course I was psyched when I found this obnoxious $3 t-shirt emblazoned with I>U. It has kind of become my fashion mantra – dressing for yourself and not caring what others think because fashion is nothing but self-expression (emphasis on self). This is especially important in the world of plus-sized fashion because basically no-one is going to try and tell you to take risks and be yourself. They are going to want to drape you in floppy neutrals and shame you for wearing anything different. That’s why being a bit narcissistic is so important. You are the only one who can, and ever will, give yourself permission to wear whatever the hell you want, so you’ve gotta love yourself enough to do that!

These last few sentences may seem a bit contradictory, as you can see that I’ve basically put myself in a gray (very aesthetic) sack with this oversized coat,  but I can explain! I picked up this coat for €10 (like $11) at the one and only Free’P’Star thrift shop in Paris. So what if two of my arms could fit in a single armhole? It is winter and I’m jonesin’ to be cozy! And who can beat that price? The nonchalant largeness of the coat makes me feel like a rockstar who’s just stumbled out of bed with no less than four of their lovers, is still slightly inebriated and is heading to the recording studio anyway. Also, it’s 1995.

Adding to this image are my $4 Kohl’s sunglasses in clear and purple plastic that I am in looove with as well as what I like to refer to as my “disco day pants”. Well, leggings that I picked up on Modcloth for $25 a couple of years ago. The material is kind of like a shiny spandex but just subtle enough that they can fit in with any outfit as a neutral and still be ~groovy~. Also, they’re a reasonable substitute for the $95 American Apparel disco pants I’ve been lusting over forever but could never bring myself to buy. They are super light and fit so well that you can almost forget that you’re wearing them (but the passersbys won’t). To top it off I’m sporting some slightly heeled booties with laces and studs on the toe, so you can kick back anyone who tries to tell you you’re not the shit.

 

My coat is from a thrift store but you can get a familiarly fuzzy one here, and the exact leggings (XL) are at Modcloth and go up to a 4X. These booties have a similar heel and look while these ones have the studs. You’ll have to find cheap, empowering novelty t-shirts on your own, although Target and Kohl’s are always good, affordable places to start.